You have decided private school might be the right move for your kid. Great. Now comes the hard part: figuring out which one. Depending on where you live, you might have two options or twenty, and the differences between them can be surprisingly large even when the brochures all start to look the same.
Choosing a private school is part research, part gut instinct, and part math. Here is how to work through all three without overthinking it into paralysis.
Start With Your Kid, Not the School’s Reputation
It is tempting to chase the school with the best name in town. Resist that. The “best” private school in your area might be a terrible fit for your particular child, and a lesser-known school might be exactly what they need.
Before you tour a single campus, sit down and think honestly about your kid. Are they a self-starter who thrives with academic rigor, or do they need a gentler environment with more support? Do they have a learning difference that requires specialized attention? Are they deeply creative in ways that a traditional classroom tends to overlook? Do they need a smaller social pond where they can find their footing, or are they the kind of kid who does fine anywhere?
Write it down if that helps. Having a clear picture of what your child actually needs makes it much easier to evaluate schools against something real instead of getting swept up in impressive facilities and polished admissions presentations.
The Things That Actually Matter on a School Visit
Tours and open houses are designed to sell you. That is not cynical, it is just true. The buildings will be clean, the students will be polite, and the head of school will be charming. All of that is fine, but it should not be the basis of your decision.
Here is what to pay attention to instead.
Class Size and Teacher Ratios
This is one of the main things your tuition is buying. Ask for actual numbers, not ranges. There is a big difference between a class of 12 and a class of 22, and some schools will quote you the lower number while the reality varies by grade. Smaller class sizes, like those offered at Embrace Academy in Las Vegas, can give kids greater opportunities for learning as they receive more one-on-one support. Ask what the largest class in your child’s grade level currently looks like.
Teacher Retention
Schools love to talk about their faculty credentials, but what matters more is whether those teachers stick around. High turnover is a red flag. It usually means low pay, poor leadership, or a culture that burns people out. Ask how long the average teacher has been at the school. If they dodge the question, that tells you something.
Curriculum and Philosophy
Private schools have enormous latitude in what and how they teach. Some follow a classical model heavy on literature, history, and logic. Some are progressive and project-based. Some are Montessori. Some are religious and integrate faith into every subject. Others are religious in affiliation but largely secular in the classroom. These are not interchangeable approaches, and your kid will do better in one than another. Ask to see actual curriculum materials or sit in on a class if they allow it.
How the School Handles Struggling Students
Every school will tell you they support all learners. Push past that and ask what happens specifically when a child falls behind in reading or math. Is there an in-house learning specialist? Do they refer out to tutors at the family’s expense? Do they put kids on academic probation? Some private schools are not equipped or willing to support kids who learn differently, and it is better to find that out now than in the middle of a crisis.
Culture and Values
This one is harder to measure, but spend time watching how students interact with each other and with adults. Are the kids relaxed or tense? Do the teachers seem like they enjoy being there? Is the hallway energy something your kid would be comfortable in? Talk to current parents, not the ones the school hand-picks for you. Ask in your neighborhood Facebook group or parent network for honest opinions. The gap between a school’s stated values and its actual culture can be significant.
Understanding the Full Cost
Tuition is the headline number, but it is rarely the whole story. Before you commit, build out a realistic picture of what a year at this school will actually cost your family.
Tuition
Get the exact figure for your child’s grade, and ask about annual increases. Many private schools raise tuition by 3 to 5 percent each year, and that compounds in ways that catch families off guard by year three or four. A school that costs $15,000 in kindergarten could be costing you $19,000 or more by fifth grade without any change in what is being offered.
Fees Beyond Tuition
Registration fees, technology fees, activity fees, lab fees, testing fees. Some schools bundle these into tuition and some do not. Ask for a complete list of mandatory fees so you can compare apples to apples across schools.
Uniforms and Dress Code
If the school requires uniforms, find out where they are purchased and what a full set costs. Some schools run their own uniform shops at a premium. Others allow you to buy from general retailers. Either way, budget several hundred dollars a year, especially for younger kids who outgrow everything constantly.
Transportation
Most private schools do not provide busing. If the school is not close to your home, you are looking at a daily commute, a carpool arrangement, or a private transportation service. Factor in the gas, the time, and the wear on your schedule. For some families, this hidden cost is the one that eventually makes the math unsustainable.
Fundraising and Giving Expectations
This is the one nobody wants to talk about openly. Many private schools have an expectation, sometimes explicit and sometimes heavily implied, that families contribute to the annual fund on top of tuition. At some schools this is genuinely optional. At others, participation rates are tracked and the social pressure is real. Ask about it directly during the admissions process so you know what you are walking into.
Extracurriculars, Trips, and Extras
Sports teams, arts programs, field trips, school retreats, and service trips often carry additional costs. A week-long class trip might run $500 to $2,000 depending on the school and destination. These expenses are technically optional, but telling your kid they cannot go on the trip everyone else is going on is its own kind of cost.
How to Know if the Price Is Actually Worth It
This is the question underneath all the other questions, and there is no formula that spits out a clean answer. But there are a few ways to think about it honestly.
Compare the Academic Outcome, Not Just the Experience
If your local public school has strong test scores, solid college placement, and good teachers, the academic gap between that and a $20,000-a-year private school may be slim. Private school might still offer things your public school cannot, like smaller classes, a specific pedagogical approach, or a better social fit, but make sure you are clear on what the premium is actually buying.
Think in Total Years, Not Single Years
Multiply the annual cost by the number of years your child would attend. A school that runs $18,000 a year for K through 8 is a $162,000 commitment before your kid even starts high school. Seeing the full number is sobering, and it should be. That does not mean it is the wrong choice. It means you should be sure about what you are getting for it.
Ask About Financial Aid Early and Without Embarrassment
Many private schools have more aid available than families realize, and the income thresholds for eligibility are often higher than people assume. Some schools cover 50 percent or more of tuition for qualifying families. You will not know unless you ask, and admissions offices are used to the conversation. Do not let pride or awkwardness keep you from exploring this.
Be Honest About What You Would Sacrifice
Private school tuition that comes at the expense of family vacations, retirement savings, or daily financial stress may not be the net positive it looks like on paper. A child in a good-enough school with parents who are not financially strained is often better off than a child in a great school with parents who are quietly drowning. That is not a comfortable thing to say, but it is worth thinking about.
Trust Yourself More Than the Rankings
At the end of all this research, you are going to have to make a call. And the right call is rarely the one that looks best on paper. It is the one that fits your kid’s personality, respects your family’s finances, and feels right when you walk through the door.
Visit your top two or three schools more than once. Bring your kid along for at least one visit and watch how they respond. Ask every question you have, even the awkward ones. And remember that this decision is not permanent. Kids transfer. Circumstances change. A school that is perfect for second grade might not be the right place for seventh grade, and that is okay.
The goal is not to find the perfect school. It is to find the right school for right now.